I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
