pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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