You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
