I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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