kristin has been a bad kristin
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
