i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
