At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
