I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
