His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
