I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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