I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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