are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
