Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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