i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
