He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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