My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
