If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
