that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
