Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize