You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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