Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
