Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
