my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
