she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
