Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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