It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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