I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
