We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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