If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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