1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
