Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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