remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
