P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
