Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
