The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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