You really coming over, don't trick.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just had sex on a roof
my poor anus
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
