I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
