It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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