Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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