Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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