But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
