Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
