He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
