Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
