Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
