I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
