dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
