All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
