If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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