i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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