You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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