We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
