i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
