your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
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