I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize