i may or may not be watching the land before time
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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