in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize