Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
