he thought i was a dude.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
