Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
