Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
