it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
