woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize