You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
