I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
