Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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