That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
