A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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