Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
