Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
