Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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