I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Are my feet made of real feet?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
