All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I could make wine with my vomit
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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