D3 body, D1 cock
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
