ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize