I'm jealous of your bromance
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
