i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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