there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
