I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
